The avalakki test

“I was the first man in Manvi family to own a two-wheeler”, he said.

He had told me a long time ago that as a kid, he used to play with matchboxes and liked to pretend they were cars. He also had a wheel which he rolled and chased on the roads of Gattu using a stick. This was his favourite pastime.

“In those days, Rajdoot and Jawa were popular bikes. Jawa was a Czech company and Rajdoot was manufactured by Escorts Group. Jawa cost Rs 500 more than Rajdoot and hence I settled for Rajdoot. Although it wasn’t a necessity to own a motor vehicle, it was more for convenience. Until then, I travelled regularly on my cycle. I bought this bike when I had just joined BHEL in Hyderabad. I was transferred to Bokaro Steel City a few years later.”

He then spoke about his days in Bokaro. “I became popular there because of my children. Since education was better in Hyderabad than Bokaro, coming from the metropolitan city, my children had a good command over English. I was addressed as their father and not by my name. This was a proud moment as a father.”

He then went on to talk about his cars. “I bought my first car in 1989. It was a second-hand black Ambassador which gave me a lot of trouble. So I decided to buy Maruti 800 which was very popular at that time. It was so popular that I had to wait for 3 years for its delivery after booking it. I had originally booked a brown one but I would have to wait for 3 more months, so I settled with a white Maruti car instead. Although I love chocolate brown colour, white turned out to be just fine. After that I bought a white Esteem car by Maruti Suzuki as well and then my loyalties shifted to Hyundai. I sold this Esteem car because the seats were very low and your grandmother found it hard to sit on. So I bought Santro Xing after that and while I still had it, I bought i10 as well. Both are shades of red. Your grandmother and I roamed around and had a lot of fun in that Santro Xing”, he reminisced.

The conversation flowed as smooth as water and as we eased into it, he got distracted by the thoughts of Navalkol (Kholrabi). He told me that he absolutely loves it; especially with green gram or fresh grated coconut. He told me how his dear wife used to cook this vegetable in the most optimum fashion - perfectly cooked pieces of vegetable; not too soft nor too hard. I found myself visualizing it, and true to my various nicknames, my mouth began to water. I fought all instincts to think about it further and forced myself to concentrate on the task at hand.

In my eyes, he and my grandmother together have been as close to perfection as a couple can get. But how they had first met had always been a mystery to me. So I decided to finally ask him about it.

“I visited your grandmother’s house as a young man along with Padmavati Kakki - my father’s younger brother’s wife. She was a very observant lady and the household regarded such keen sight important for such occasions. Radha’s relatives were very mischievous. They offered me a large heap of avalakki (spicy flattened rice) on a ridiculously small plate. It was a subtle challenge for me to eat it without spilling. I could sense many pairs of eyes intently watching me. I took on the challenge and carefully began to munch it. Thankfully I was successful and I passed their test. This is how I first met her. My father seemed to like her a lot. All was well and we eventually got married.”

Although this story seemed sweet, I could not quite digest it. Both of them hardly knew each other at the time of their marriage.

“Things were very different in my 20s. It was a transition period. The groom saw the girl at least once before the wedding.”

I then began to wonder on what basis he had decided to marry my grandmother. I had heard about another female suitor was considered to be his bride but things didn’t quite work out for them.

When I brought up the topic, he was slightly evasive but he answered my questions nevertheless.

“I never saw her in that light, so I never considered it as a prospective proposal. She was from a village called Aigi. I was very worried as I had never met her and was expected to marry her. Along with my uncle Vajanna, I woke up at 5 a.m and set off to visit this girl on a bullock cart. Vajanna’s dad caught us sneaking out and said ‘Do you really need to see the girl? Can’t you marry her otherwise?’. Without paying heed to his words, we carried on. Upon reaching the girl’s house, we hardly saw her. I was waiting for her to come out from her room but there was no sign of her. Finally, when we were having lunch, she came out to serve ghee and I tried to steal a glance at her. I was feeling extremely awkward as many gazes were fixed at me and I did not want to be caught looking at her. Anyway, she was very skinny and not very good looking. I was not impressed by her and informed my father that I had no interest in this girl. So this is the end of this story.”

I was appalled by his dismissive behaviour. He had absolutely no idea about this girl except for her “looks” and completely disregarded her without finding out more about her.

I questioned him about his prejudiced decision to which he replied “ This is how things were done back then.”

What about her personality? - I retorted back.

“ It was very hard to gauge someone’s personality. So people resorted to easier ways.”

What if she had a golden personality and you failed to see it? - I asked him.

“Well, I did end up with your grandmother, didn’t I? She was such a wonderful lady. What more could I have asked for?”

Although it didn’t answer my initial question, I let it be. Some questions are better left unanswered, for such happenings of that epoch are beyond my comprehension.

“Things got more progressive when my children were of marriageable age. Here’s an interesting incident. Once, on my way back home from Yadagirigutta with my family in our Ambassador car, we spotted Sudha (Radha’s sister) in Habsiguda. We immediately halted and the kids from the car yelled out ‘Sudha Mausi’. She stopped in her tracks and seemed apparently pleased to see us. She exclaimed that we had met her at the most opportune moment. She had a girl in mind for Puchi (Purushotham Manvi). She requested us to visit the girl’s house right away and speak to her once. We weren’t really prepared to ‘see’ the girl at that moment but we went ahead anyway. As soon as we reached the girl’s house, we freshened up and waited for her to come out. We learnt that her name was Sudha as well. By my children’s generation, the girl and boy who were interested in getting married to each other generally spoke separately before arriving at a decision. This is the progressiveness that I witnessed that day. Puchi wanted a girl who spoke fluent English. The two of them went away for a while and spoke about things I know not of. Puchi took some time to make up his mind and finally they got married to each other.”

“On the other hand, I had seen Rekha (Madhusudhan’s wife) on different occasions at family functions before her marriage to Madhu. I especially remember seeing her at Jyothi’s wedding (Rekha’s sister). She was slender and tall. I liked her and told Radha that Madhu and she would make a good pair. Who knew that would come true!”, he exclaimed.

As much as this concept of ‘seeing’ a girl is beyond me and its superficiality is something I don’t advocate, I am very glad that these couples were formed in my family.